.i wanna.

lately i've been more inspired to do the things i've always wanted to do. to go after stuff i haven't wanted to go after for a long time. i think part of that is a change of pace - a new place to live, new friendships, new goals, etc. i think part of that is reading books like "bittersweet"

by a writer named shauna niequist who i feel like i'm friends with, even though at best, she's a friend of a friend. it's inspiring me in ways i haven't been inspired in years as did her first book (cold tangerines). i think part of it is seeing how my sort of friend kristen is inspiring and growing the students she teaches. i think the other part of it is being in a relationship with someone who asks hard questions like, "what would you do if no one stopped you?" or "have you ever thought about writing?" or "start praying about God opening up those doors again." i think the biggest part of it is my Creator, who made me with the gifts he made me with is helping me find out the best way to use those gifts to expand HIS kingdom, not mine. so here's my little list of "i wanna's" that's been finding it's way from the recesses of my brain to the forefront and causing me to think, to dream, to remember, to get scared and excited all at the same time. so Father, i invite you into my "i wanna's" and i tell you do do what YOU wanna do with them. use them to glorify your name.

i wanna...

- start writing more (which inevitably means less people time, yikes! have you met me?)
- start reading more (which is essential when you want to write more and also means less people time)
- learn the guitar and do it well so that i can use the gifts i don't use very often & learn to speak through music
- teach again (did i just say that?!?!? that's a whole other blog post that i'm not ready to verbalize yet)
- work with high school and college students again (shocker! ha.)
- get better at loving those in my life really really well (i feel like i've slacked at this lately)
- have people over for meals more often and ask how life is and really listen

so God, little by little would you grow those things in me and make me more like you by doing them.

.#13b - nate date...

i remember putting this challenge before myself this year to go on 2 dates and i remember thinking, "this one is gonna be hard for me" and "i really pray that both dates are with the same guy" well, both of those things are true. it was hard for me to actually be vulnerable enough to let nathan know that i was interested. and hard to get on an airplane to seattle not totally knowing what was coming. and hard to trust God with something i so often like to control. but so worth it...

back in march, i went on a snowboarding retreat with my new church in santa barbara and met this crew of awesome peeps. we became friends. we did really fun things - like magic mountain & game nights & went out to eat & went camping and just did life together and did it well. in fact we still do. it's a good crew and they've been an absolute gift to get to know these last 7 months or so. getting to know this crew has also meant finding this unexpected connection and genuine friendship with nathan. and since i'm someone who values staying on topic, i'll skip a bit of the middle and go to our first date. after 4 months of hanging out and a couple weeks of realizing we liked each other, he put the offer out there to join him on a "companion pass"to seattle for the weekend, i said i'd love to be the one that goes as his "companion".

"companion" (in case you didn't know) is another word for "soon-to-be-girlfriend"

so in the only restaurant at the sacramento airport, nathan and i had our first date...
followed by a conversation that led to me becoming his girlfriend...
followed by dates, dates (including both our siblings' weddings!) and more dates to come...

these dates, and this man have been nothing short of God giving good gifts to his kids. He loves us enough that he orchestrated all this, because he's that good. in a season of spoiling me rotten (a great job, living in the most awesome place ever, a solid Jesus lovin' community of people...) i'd have to say nathan is on the top of that list. he is a man who loves Jesus with his whole being. he's humble and patient, tender and loyal, athletic and hilarious, brilliant and grounded. he's someone i respect and admire, someone with whom i share a passion first for Jesus and then for things like the beach, the mountains, high school ministry, traveling, family, good food and wine, i could go on and on...

i would say that's a successful date, my nate date.