i feel like God is "calling me out" these days and calling me into something much bigger than me. He's been asking the question: "Whose kingdom are you investing in, mine or yours?"
Psalm 82:3 "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
4Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked."
God is continuing to push me forward and not letting me sit still or quiet, which 1) totally moves me out of my comfort zone and 2) gets me really pumped for how he's changing my life and breaking my heart for the things that break His. So I'm presenting you with 2 next steps in my life and the opportunity to get involved in 2 bigger stories in His kingdom across the globe.
1) Surgery for the baby in Romania
I wrote this email about 10 days ago from Romania. It was about a little girl, whose name I've since learned is Maria. Here was the post I wrote from Romania:
"just this morning, a 6 month old baby girl was brought in with fluid on her brain. her parents left her at the hospital because they can't do anything with her. she needs a shunt put it in, a simple 40 minute procedure but they can't get the medical care for her so she likely will die soon unless they do. i put my hand on her little chest and she just sobbed and grabbed my hand tightly with her little fingers. i left the room in tears knowing there was literally nothing i could do to help this innocent baby who, in the states would have gotten surgery long ago. it doesn't seem fair.
so today i have been sweetly broken by these kids. their stories, their smiles, their tears, their lives have made their mark on my heart and i won't ever be the same. feeding a baby her bottle knowing that most of the time she feeds herself lying in a crib because there aren't enough hands to hold her. holding the tiny fingers of a little girl whose life might be taken from her because she can't get surgery. praying for Jesus to take a couple of these kids home because the way they're living is truly not living at all. my heart is broken for these beautiful little people. and i'm humbled by the work that Nann and her team are doing and the time they're putting in to find homes for these kids and caring for the ones who don't have homes. it is truly the heart of God."
I wrote in that email that "there was literally nothing I could do to help this innocent baby." It turns out God is still changing me. I've thought about sweet Maria daily since I got home. I've prayed for her and her little hands gripping mine and her innocent tears have made me no longer able to turn a blind eye. Her parents want her back. They brought her to the hospital because they were at their wit's end and knew it was better for her to either get help or die there than in their home. I want to get her back home. She needs a 40 minute procedure on her brain to drain the fluid and put a shunt in. It's a simple deal and she can go home. So we are going to get her surgery. That's what I feel called to do. God is changing me and teaching me that helping this one precious little girl is something I CAN do. It is tangible and it will save a life - a life that matters to him.
Because Maria has been on my heart since I got back and God is asking me to not sit here and "do nothing" about this, I am raising money to get her surgery. There is an urgency because her condition will ultimately kill her. The surgery is only $1000 and $300 was raised this weekend through one of our churches in the Presbytery!
2) My trip to Haiti in January
I have been presented with the opportunity to go and help lead a trip in Haiti with Operation HOPE! There will be about 30 on the team and we will be going to work with an American doctor there who is loving on the broken people of Montrouis, Haiti. I will be helping with this trip in order to see if we can bring a crew from this area later in the year on an IMPACT trip. So it's a scouting trip with an opportunity to serve the least of these in a country of broken people who I believe are close to the heart of our God. Haiti has been on my heart since the earthquake and I haven't known how to move forward in getting an IMPACT team on the ground or helping however we can... until I was presented with this opportunity. We will have a medical team working with earthquake victims as well as a community team working with orphans. I know this will change me as well - to see the extremely dire needs of those in Haiti and to be able to love them because that's what Christ would do. How do you come back the same? I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity and feel like I can't pass it up. Because IMPACT paid for my Europe scouting trip, there is not money in the budget to this trip, but I feel called to go and feel like it's worth the investment, both for myself and for the future of IMPACT.
The cost for the entire Haiti trip is $1200. Again, if you want to write a tax-free donation, those checks can be made out to Operation HOPE. The money for this trip is also due in the next 2 weeks.
Here are the two ways which I feel like God is calling me out of my own kingdom and deeper into His and I'm simply inviting you into the story. I know many of you give to many other things, so don't feel obligated, just let me know if these are things you feel called to participate in. I'd love to include you!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
.being changed.
Thank you all SO much for praying for my trip. It truly was amazing in so many ways and I am in the process of being profoundly changed by it. I had a great time in Holland at the end of my trip and got to spend a significant amount of time hanging out with family that I don't often get to see. It was fun to share my experiences with them as they are not regular church attenders. They were so excited and receptive to what I was doing for work and how God was changing my life. We had some amazing conversations. Holland gave me a renewed appreciation for my culture and my heritage but more than anything made me realize what exactly it was my grandpa walked away from at 20 years old to come to the states to create a life and start a business for himself here. That was a really really big deal and I think this is the first time I realized how hard that must have been and exactly what he was sacrificing. I'm grateful. Here's a couple of pictures :)
I've not totally processed my experiences yet and I'm sure will continue to do so for quite some time, but I did get my first chance to share this morning at a church and to invite people into the bigger story of IMPACT. It's a story that belongs to our great God, that he's writing and we just get to be characters in His story, should we choose to listen and to obey. It was hard to re-hash the reality of what I saw in the orphanage that day and encouraging to get to ask people to come and build a church in Albania. I'm speaking from a different place having been there myself and there were about 7 moms/grandmas who signed up for more information on the "rocking babies" trip! Due to popular demand I may have to find more ministries that rock babies so that all who want to go can go!
From the imam, the Albanian pastors, the Romanian orphans & missionaries, I learned that what we do matters - for us, for them, for the kingdom. And I'm overwhelmingly grateful for the ways I'm being changed.
Next stop... Haiti in January!
I've not totally processed my experiences yet and I'm sure will continue to do so for quite some time, but I did get my first chance to share this morning at a church and to invite people into the bigger story of IMPACT. It's a story that belongs to our great God, that he's writing and we just get to be characters in His story, should we choose to listen and to obey. It was hard to re-hash the reality of what I saw in the orphanage that day and encouraging to get to ask people to come and build a church in Albania. I'm speaking from a different place having been there myself and there were about 7 moms/grandmas who signed up for more information on the "rocking babies" trip! Due to popular demand I may have to find more ministries that rock babies so that all who want to go can go!
From the imam, the Albanian pastors, the Romanian orphans & missionaries, I learned that what we do matters - for us, for them, for the kingdom. And I'm overwhelmingly grateful for the ways I'm being changed.
Next stop... Haiti in January!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
.sweetly broken.
today i'm in romania. and i've been broken by what i've seen. i'm staying with a new friend, Nannette who has been a missionary here for the last 17 years. the work she does is truly amazing. it's been a gift and such a God thing to have my friend Phil here as well. he's been my cousin's best friend since they were kids and recently moved here to do ministry for a season, it's been fun to have some americans to stay with and chat with and so fun to be hanging out with phil in romania, something we never could have dreamt up! God is good.
i spent the afternoon yesterday hearing all about ROCK ministry and the projects they do here in romania, so i was beyond excited today to get to see their work firsthand and experience what God is doing in this little hospital in bucharest. basically Nann has taken on the task of providing care and trying to find foster homes for abandoned kids. she is living out the gospel in an amazing way. the hospital allows ROCK to use 2 of their extra rooms free of charge to keep their kids. Nann has 12 staff total, 4 of which work at the hospital. what you see there is unbelievable. lily was the only one working today and she was caring for THIRTEEN kids BY HERSELF. she is an absolute saint.
in the upstairs room were six babies all between 1-10 months. oh my precious. and they have ONE caretaker today. for all six of them and the other 7 downstairs. unreal. these kids have all been abandoned by their parents, some of whom "say" they will come back for them. i heard stories today that alot of their parents are gypsy beggars and leave their kids to be fed/cared for until they're old enough to eat solid food and then they come back for them and use them to beg. it's absolutely devastating because these are the most lovable babies in the world.
this little guy, florin is seriously SO precious. he just laughs and smiles and wants to be held. he particularly likes men, they think because it's pretty rare that he sees men. when phil put him down to leave, he sobbed. when there's no one to hold them or play with them, they crawl around in the cribs and try to keep themselves entertained. it's so tragic because they truly just want to be held and given attention.
this little one, isabella wanted me to hold her for the better part of an hour, she just laid on my lap, content to just be held. we spent an hour or so with these babies today just loving on them and giving them much needed attention and affection.
the downstairs room is a WHOLE different ball game. it is a room with 6 special needs kids who have been dropped off by their parents because either they don't want them or can't care for them. it is seriously the saddest thing you'll ever see. Nann said there's some of these kids that they often pray will just be taken home to Jesus because the way they're living is seriously no way to live. it was traumatizing to see these kids and humbling to watch lily feed, bathe and change all 13 of them by herself until we arrived to help.
just this morning, a 6 month old baby girl was brought in with fluid on her brain. her parents left her at the hospital because they can't do anything with her. she needs a shunt put it in, a simple 40 minute procedure but they can't get the medical care for her so she likely will die soon unless they do. i put my hand on her little chest and she just sobbed and grabbed my hand tightly with her little fingers. i left the room in tears knowing there was literally nothing i could do to help this innocent baby who, in the states would have gotten surgery long ago. it doesn't seem fair.
so today i have been sweetly broken by these kids. their stories, their smiles, their tears, their lives have made their mark on my heart and i won't ever be the same. feeding a baby her bottle knowing that most of the time she feeds herself lying in a crib because there aren't enough hands to hold her. holding the tiny fingers of a little girl whose life might be taken from her because she can't get surgery. praying for Jesus to take a couple of these kids home because the way they're living is truly not living at all. my heart is broken for these beautiful little people. and i'm humbled by the work that Nann and her team are doing and the time they're putting in to find homes for these kids and caring for the ones who don't have homes. it is truly the heart of God.
he continues to teach me daily what he's about and i'm seeing him the faces of these precious ones, in the vision and dreams of an Albanian pastor, in the sweat and tears of these missionaries who've given everything so that the name of Jesus might be proclaimed. grateful to be on this journey with these kingdom-minded saints.
i spent the afternoon yesterday hearing all about ROCK ministry and the projects they do here in romania, so i was beyond excited today to get to see their work firsthand and experience what God is doing in this little hospital in bucharest. basically Nann has taken on the task of providing care and trying to find foster homes for abandoned kids. she is living out the gospel in an amazing way. the hospital allows ROCK to use 2 of their extra rooms free of charge to keep their kids. Nann has 12 staff total, 4 of which work at the hospital. what you see there is unbelievable. lily was the only one working today and she was caring for THIRTEEN kids BY HERSELF. she is an absolute saint.
in the upstairs room were six babies all between 1-10 months. oh my precious. and they have ONE caretaker today. for all six of them and the other 7 downstairs. unreal. these kids have all been abandoned by their parents, some of whom "say" they will come back for them. i heard stories today that alot of their parents are gypsy beggars and leave their kids to be fed/cared for until they're old enough to eat solid food and then they come back for them and use them to beg. it's absolutely devastating because these are the most lovable babies in the world.
this little guy, florin is seriously SO precious. he just laughs and smiles and wants to be held. he particularly likes men, they think because it's pretty rare that he sees men. when phil put him down to leave, he sobbed. when there's no one to hold them or play with them, they crawl around in the cribs and try to keep themselves entertained. it's so tragic because they truly just want to be held and given attention.
this little one, isabella wanted me to hold her for the better part of an hour, she just laid on my lap, content to just be held. we spent an hour or so with these babies today just loving on them and giving them much needed attention and affection.
the downstairs room is a WHOLE different ball game. it is a room with 6 special needs kids who have been dropped off by their parents because either they don't want them or can't care for them. it is seriously the saddest thing you'll ever see. Nann said there's some of these kids that they often pray will just be taken home to Jesus because the way they're living is seriously no way to live. it was traumatizing to see these kids and humbling to watch lily feed, bathe and change all 13 of them by herself until we arrived to help.
just this morning, a 6 month old baby girl was brought in with fluid on her brain. her parents left her at the hospital because they can't do anything with her. she needs a shunt put it in, a simple 40 minute procedure but they can't get the medical care for her so she likely will die soon unless they do. i put my hand on her little chest and she just sobbed and grabbed my hand tightly with her little fingers. i left the room in tears knowing there was literally nothing i could do to help this innocent baby who, in the states would have gotten surgery long ago. it doesn't seem fair.
so today i have been sweetly broken by these kids. their stories, their smiles, their tears, their lives have made their mark on my heart and i won't ever be the same. feeding a baby her bottle knowing that most of the time she feeds herself lying in a crib because there aren't enough hands to hold her. holding the tiny fingers of a little girl whose life might be taken from her because she can't get surgery. praying for Jesus to take a couple of these kids home because the way they're living is truly not living at all. my heart is broken for these beautiful little people. and i'm humbled by the work that Nann and her team are doing and the time they're putting in to find homes for these kids and caring for the ones who don't have homes. it is truly the heart of God.
he continues to teach me daily what he's about and i'm seeing him the faces of these precious ones, in the vision and dreams of an Albanian pastor, in the sweat and tears of these missionaries who've given everything so that the name of Jesus might be proclaimed. grateful to be on this journey with these kingdom-minded saints.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
.how the imam changed me.
It’s 5am. I’m in Albania. I should be asleep. Instead I’m being awakened by the unfamiliar sound of the imam and his call to prayer. I jump up in my little hotel bed and forget where I am for a moment. Someone is chanting, it’s dark, I’m by myself (a creepy feeling, I can assure you). I then look around and remember that I’m here in Albania and that there is a Muslim call to prayer every morning at 5. It’s something I’ve always known happens, but something I’ve never experienced myself.
At first I think it’s kind of cool, to experience something this foreign to me. And then I think it’s kind of annoying, to be woken up at 5 am by someone chanting for what seems like an awfully long time, especially when you can’t understand the words. And then I’m reminded of how important it is that my friend Zef is pastoring an evangelical church down the street. I am reminded of how much a country like this desperately needs the love of Jesus and the hope that he has to offer. And I know it’s important that I’m here, to bring life and encouragement and find out how we can serve. And then... then I’m struck with the notion that these people, 5 times a day, like clockwork are reminded to pray. And they do. They pray to a god who I don’t believe can redeem souls and bring peace.
Here I am. Laying in bed annoyed that I’ve been awakened by a call to prayer to Allah and it’s not until then that I’m truly awakened to the fact that these people have something I don’t. They are dedicated to praying to their God, 5 times per day, without fail and they call others to it and remind them to do it because they believe it matters. And me? Most of the time pray when I feel like it, when I’m afraid, when I need something, when someone else needs something. I don’t pray continuously nor to do I very often call others in my life to prayer.
So the second morning in Albania, something different happened. I was awakened by the imam’s call to prayer and I welcomed it. I laid in bed and I prayed, to a God I believe can change everything and answers prayers. I prayed for the Young Life banquet that happened to be going on at home at that exact moment. I prayed for the people God has put in my life. I prayed for the church here in Albania and the groundwork that Zef and Altin are trying to set. I prayed for people’s lives in Albania to be changed because of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I prayed for the imam and others, that they might know Christ. I prayed for things I haven’t been reminded to pray for in years. And at that moment I was very grateful for 5am and for the imam calling me to prayer because prayer matters, especially when it’s prayer to a God who hears, receives and answers prayers. God is changing me, in ways I’d least expect. I’m humbled and thankful for this journey.
At first I think it’s kind of cool, to experience something this foreign to me. And then I think it’s kind of annoying, to be woken up at 5 am by someone chanting for what seems like an awfully long time, especially when you can’t understand the words. And then I’m reminded of how important it is that my friend Zef is pastoring an evangelical church down the street. I am reminded of how much a country like this desperately needs the love of Jesus and the hope that he has to offer. And I know it’s important that I’m here, to bring life and encouragement and find out how we can serve. And then... then I’m struck with the notion that these people, 5 times a day, like clockwork are reminded to pray. And they do. They pray to a god who I don’t believe can redeem souls and bring peace.
Here I am. Laying in bed annoyed that I’ve been awakened by a call to prayer to Allah and it’s not until then that I’m truly awakened to the fact that these people have something I don’t. They are dedicated to praying to their God, 5 times per day, without fail and they call others to it and remind them to do it because they believe it matters. And me? Most of the time pray when I feel like it, when I’m afraid, when I need something, when someone else needs something. I don’t pray continuously nor to do I very often call others in my life to prayer.
So the second morning in Albania, something different happened. I was awakened by the imam’s call to prayer and I welcomed it. I laid in bed and I prayed, to a God I believe can change everything and answers prayers. I prayed for the Young Life banquet that happened to be going on at home at that exact moment. I prayed for the people God has put in my life. I prayed for the church here in Albania and the groundwork that Zef and Altin are trying to set. I prayed for people’s lives in Albania to be changed because of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I prayed for the imam and others, that they might know Christ. I prayed for things I haven’t been reminded to pray for in years. And at that moment I was very grateful for 5am and for the imam calling me to prayer because prayer matters, especially when it’s prayer to a God who hears, receives and answers prayers. God is changing me, in ways I’d least expect. I’m humbled and thankful for this journey.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
.an adventure with Jesus.
i am here in Amsterdam. and STOKED about it. i'm just at the airport but i can't WAIT to come back here next week and hang out with my family for a few days before returning to the states. the smell of Dutch pancakes (pannekoeken) cooking, the Dutch cow art exhibit and the tulips planted all around is making my heart happy. it feels like home. you're right mom, i am so Dutch (and i blame you... and dad).
before i continue i must let you know that i DO plan on blogging about the remainder of my 30 before 30 list including last week's epic celebration, just give me a little time.
now back to this adventure. i am here for only 8 days in europe. it seems to short, but i know it's as long as i could get away this time of year & just as long as God wants me here. i left yesterday in a pile of tears (thank you boyfriend for your prayers and kindness through it) and was just feeling really unsettled and somewhat anxious about the whole thing. while i know in my heart that God's got me in the palm of his hand and that this is really no big deal, i couldn't convince my head of that. partly because it's my first overseas solo adventure and also partly because i hadn't taken the time to spiritually or mentally prepare for this trip (possibly due to an epic celebration consuming my time last weekend).
but we're cool now. me and Jesus. by the time i got to LAX & got checked in i'd changed my tone. me and Jesus are on a european adventure this week. i got to spend some time on the first flight praying for each of the people i'll be meeting with and the ministries i'll be seeing. He's invited me in to see what's going on in his kingdom in Albania and Romania and my job is just to show up and to love people and hear their stories and offer what we can as IMPACT to help them further their piece of the kingdom. when you put it that way, it's a pretty sweet gig. packing/preparing/flying the first leg was the hardest part. home free from here!
i'll be trying to email updates/post blogs as often as possible, and my parents & my guy will be getting texts from me, so if you want to know the text updates, contact my mom (barb) via facebook & she'll gladly add you to the "update me" text messages. but i should get wireless just about everywhere i am so this might be the easiest way to keep up with me & Jesus in europe this week. feel free to send texts as receiving them is free on this end. just can't send them for free from here.
continue to pray for safe travel & for rest. i'm exhausted, but excited. i'll have been traveling over 24 hours by the time i get to albania tonight. yikes! next stop... Rome.
i can't wait to make new Albanian and Romanian friends and i'm VERY excited to see where Jesus takes me on this adventure. thanks for your prayers!
dewey (Dutch for goodbye!)
before i continue i must let you know that i DO plan on blogging about the remainder of my 30 before 30 list including last week's epic celebration, just give me a little time.
now back to this adventure. i am here for only 8 days in europe. it seems to short, but i know it's as long as i could get away this time of year & just as long as God wants me here. i left yesterday in a pile of tears (thank you boyfriend for your prayers and kindness through it) and was just feeling really unsettled and somewhat anxious about the whole thing. while i know in my heart that God's got me in the palm of his hand and that this is really no big deal, i couldn't convince my head of that. partly because it's my first overseas solo adventure and also partly because i hadn't taken the time to spiritually or mentally prepare for this trip (possibly due to an epic celebration consuming my time last weekend).
but we're cool now. me and Jesus. by the time i got to LAX & got checked in i'd changed my tone. me and Jesus are on a european adventure this week. i got to spend some time on the first flight praying for each of the people i'll be meeting with and the ministries i'll be seeing. He's invited me in to see what's going on in his kingdom in Albania and Romania and my job is just to show up and to love people and hear their stories and offer what we can as IMPACT to help them further their piece of the kingdom. when you put it that way, it's a pretty sweet gig. packing/preparing/flying the first leg was the hardest part. home free from here!
i'll be trying to email updates/post blogs as often as possible, and my parents & my guy will be getting texts from me, so if you want to know the text updates, contact my mom (barb) via facebook & she'll gladly add you to the "update me" text messages. but i should get wireless just about everywhere i am so this might be the easiest way to keep up with me & Jesus in europe this week. feel free to send texts as receiving them is free on this end. just can't send them for free from here.
continue to pray for safe travel & for rest. i'm exhausted, but excited. i'll have been traveling over 24 hours by the time i get to albania tonight. yikes! next stop... Rome.
i can't wait to make new Albanian and Romanian friends and i'm VERY excited to see where Jesus takes me on this adventure. thanks for your prayers!
dewey (Dutch for goodbye!)
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