Present - FMF

The greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of being present.

Life is hard, we need each other. Gifts, flowers, cards - those things are not needs, they are extras. What we need is someone's presence. When I am truly present with someone, there's nowhere else in the world I would rather be than with that person.

Here's a secret... I never, ever regret being present with someone. Ever.

I can't help today but think of one of girls in my first Bible study; this week she got diagnosed with inoperable cancer. The doctors are doing everything they can, but they're quickly realizing it's too late to save her life. She has weeks to months left in her short 27-year-old life. ALL THAT MATTERS to her, in these last weeks and months is the presence of those she loves... and the presence of God. That's it. There is nothing that matters more.

During hard seasons of my own life, you know what I remember now? I remember who was there, who sat and cried with me, prayed with me, asked me questions, tried to cheer me up. I remember Cecilia walking in my room with a glass of wine for each of us, plopping herself on my bed and asking how I was today. I remember Lizzy faithfully texting me every single day asking how I was and how she could pray. I remember Alisha helping me do the simple things - like get groceries and tie my shoes and get dressed when my body was in too much pain to do those things. I remember Emily showing up at my house uninvited, with food, knowing that if she didn't, I probably wouldn't have eaten that night. I remember my husband walking in, long before I expected him because he knew his presence mattered.

The "things" we buy for those we love are great, but they will be soon forgotten. The hours you give, the tears you cry, the hugging, the showing up - that's what sticks. That's what's worth it. So this weekend, I challenge you to think of someone who needs your presence and grab a latte or a glass of wine and go be present.

.unexpected christmas.

this year has brought so many unexpected things - the biggest blessing of them all? my man... he's incredible and has been such a gift - one that i'm willing to sacrifice much for.

this year, we were at risk of having to sacrifice christmas in texas. GASP!!!! this guy i love, he's in the medical field - often those dedicated, healing people don't get time off of work for christmas. our expectation and plan was that he and i would have a quiet christmas on the central coast of california because he'd have just started a new job.


no job yet... the blessing in disguise is that we got to come home for christmas!!! this would have been the first year i've not been in texas with my family and i was feeling a little blue about it, but grateful to be with my man. instead, we're home :)

christmas is new this year - for both of us:

it's jarred's first bouma ugly sweater party!!!
- nasty ugly sweaters, hair & makeup

- lots of good cheer
- pictionary (gerrit made a snowman!)

- LOADS of crazy people celebrating - welcome to our Dutch chaos, babe!

and my first minefee christmas
- snow in west texas

- christmas cookies with mom minefee & jarred


- this sweet little girl that we can't wait to get out to california :)

- waiting out the birth of jarred's niece - charley cate minefee - any day now!

new families are so much fun. if you told me last year that this next christmas would be spent in midland, texas with the family of my new man, i'd have laughed... much like zechariah and abraham & sarah laughed at their unexpected gifts. God is so good, ridiculously faithful and always right on time.

i'm so grateful for my unexpected Christmas both in texas and with this guy. (we only sent ONE christmas card, if you live in lima, peru - you got lucky!)

serve & respect

i drive... alot. while i drive i do one of 4 things: listen to tunes, talk on the phone, pray or listen to podcasts. this last 4 days i've spent a significant amount of time in the car and i've never been more thankful that Jarred and i respectively have two amazing pastors from the churches we've recently attended who podcast sermons that continue to grow and change us both as individuals and as a couple. mike erre, my pastor for 7 years of my life taught an incredible sermon on marriage that i listened to today and as i heard the way he described that men should treat women in dating and in marriage - i saw the man that is stealing my heart and becoming my best friend.

here's where i saw it: mike said, "single people, listen up. you will be married to her in whatever way you dated her. so ladies, does he serve you? do you see a willingness to place your well-being ahead of his own? is he a threat to your purity or a protector of it? does he demand his needs be met?"

this picture is what i see in my man. he serves me... he makes sure i'm taken care of, he opens my door, he loves me well and not only me but those he knows are important to me.

he is willing to place my well-being ahead of his own... remember how he's moving across the country to be with me as we speak? and all this because he knows how much i love my job and am not willing to give it up so he is giving up loads of things to be with me? remember that? he is a protector of my purity and not a threat... you get no details, but let's just say he's a man of his word and a man of integrity and i have never once felt like i was fighting that uphill battle alone. he doesn't demand his needs be met... in fact, he got me 8 jars of my favorite salsa in texas and is driving it to california, talk about meeting needs :)

he goes on to say: "I pray that men, in ever increasing yet ever imperfect ways you would place her well-being ahead of your own and you would begin to die to your entitlements and sacrifice to serve her. and women, in ever increasing yet ever imperfect ways you would respect and love your man, as he is, not as you want him. and ladies, would you respect a man who served you in that way? of course you would. and men, would you serve a woman who respected you in that way? of course you would."

people, i have NO PROBLEM respecting this man who has served me so well and sacrificed so much. i am blown away. in fact, i respect him and love him even more because of his willingness to die to his entitlements (a better paying job, cheaper rent, living near family, a bigger house) and sacrifice for me. it makes me want to do ANYTHING I CAN to love him, help him succeed and treat him with respect. it makes me ridiculously proud to call him mine.

then mike finishes with this - "men, women need us to delight in them... as they are. and ladies, we need you to respect us and to love us into our future. what happens when people start treating each other this way is that you get a picture of the gospel of Jesus."

good gracious i pray that our relationship is even the tiniest picture of the gospel of Jesus and that more and more as we grow as a couple - we show more grace, sacrifice more of ourselves, give more respect and love even deeper so that Jesus radiates through all that we are. this life is beautiful. this man is imperfectly incredible. i am beyond blessed.