.30 before 30.

here you have it team... i am going to do these 30 things before i turn 30. exactly one year from right now. here's how it works:

at Donald Miller's advice, i will: write a good story, take somebody with me and include God in the process :)

- i have 30 things to do
- i have tried to pick things that will challenge my mind, body and faith
- i will blog about them all today and then as i do them, so my hope is that this will keep me accountable to doing all 30 in the next 365 days. stay tuned if you wanna watch these stories unfold!

so here, on my 29th birthday, is my 30 before 30 list!!!!!!

1) Attend a U2 Concert
2) Go to Joshua Tree (mostly for some sweet picture taking)
3) Run a 10k or Half Marathon
4) Get my car detailed
5) Host a really really great dinner party at my house (when I get one)
X6) Go to the Getty Museum
7) Climb Half Dome at Yosemite
8) Visit a friend who lives somewhere I've never been
X9) Buy new cowboy boots
10) Take a photography/photoshop class
11) Go to Monterey/Carmel
X12) Shoot a deer
X13) Sell a piece of my photography
X14) Have a Jesus conversation with a complete stranger
15) Wear red lipstick for 3 days... just because
16) Read one book per month
17) Have a ticket booked for my next international adventure
18) Go on 2 dates
19) Purchase a really great dress
X 20) Go approx. one day a week without wearing makeup to appreciate how Jesus made my face
21) See George Strait in concert
22) Go to Oregon & Idaho
X 23) Start a wine collection and NOT drink it all right away
24) Spend 2 nights and 3 days somewhere in solitude
25) Learn to surf
X26) Go horseback riding
27) Give away 10% more of my income
X28) Start somewhere, flip a coin, if heads - drive to the left 30 miles, if tails - drive to the right 30 miles and see where I end up
29) Ride the bike trail from Angels Stadium to the beach
30) Have a killer 30th birthday celebration :)

now, there's 2 that i'm not sure are possible, but fear not - i have alternates.

so... wish me luck and hit me up if there's an adventure you'd like to join in on!!!

.get ready world.

prepare yourself for friday's post. i will be posting... esperalo, esperalo...

my 30 BEFORE 30 list.

that's right. on friday, i will be 29, so i thought it only appropriate and felt a little convicted after reading the amazingess that is Donald Miller's new book (A Million Miles in a Thousand Years) to write a 30 before 30 list that i will have exactly a year to complete. more details to follow, but it's comin' up in approximately 36 hours. i'm actually really excited about it and hope blogging will keep me accountable to doing it!

nite nite termite.

.sweetness.

that, my friends is the only word i could come up with to describe the situation at starbucks this morning. many times over - this is sweetness...

i went to starbucks for a latte and a little chat with Jesus while i waited for spin class to begin (because Jesus is at starbucks you know...) and in walked this old couple. she had a walker and a brace around her torso. he helped her in, sat her down, got their coffee and went and sat next to her (next to her, not across from her - sweetness #1)

she turns to me as she's waiting for her husband and says hello, i say hi. she then says, "i hope you have a really, really good day." my goodness, how could you not after that?!?!? (sweetness #2)

and THEN i see this:



and i realized what was happening - her husband was reading her a chapter from "Chicken Soup for the Older and Wiser Soul." are you kidding me? and he'd stop and explain when he knew she wouldn't understand something... and they laughed at the funny parts. (MAJOR SWEETNESS #3)

this seriously made my day and i thought to myself - "this is love... this is the kind of love i want to have in 50 years, when i'm in my late 70's and i am struggling to do life, i want to love this way - to read books to each other, to help each other walk when we can't, to laugh and to stop and tell the young girl at the next table that i hope she has a really, really good day and for us to be more like Jesus than we were 50 years ago because we've loved each other." that's what i want.

anyone know any eligible bachelors of this caliber? ya, me neither ;)

.james 1:27.

the beginning of james 1:27 says this: "religion that our God accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." and i am thrilled to say that my cousin and her husband are on their way to the ukraine as i write this to embark on a 5-6 week journey to pick up their kiddos :) it makes my heart smile.

they have a cool back story and process on how God's led them to this place and walked them through this season. if you're into following blogs as people walk through adoption journeys, check theirs out - dhfam.blogspot.com, if you're not, just pray for them if you think of it. their names are janelle and casey and i know they are crazy grateful for anyone wiling to join the prayer train at this stage in the game - there's much to figure out and so many details that have to go "just right."

while i'm anxious for the weeks ahead, i'm even more excited to see the little ones God's had picked out for 2 years while they waited to get all the paper work perfect. He's up to somethin' good over there.

.unnamed.

there's this thing on iphoto called "faces" and if i'm brutally honest (which i usually am), it has become a slight addiction for me. i've probably spent 3 hours today tagging people and then clicking on pictures and seeing who my computer would tag people as without my help. it's hilarious. for instance, it thinks that my cousin is my mom. it thinks that me and my brother's girlfriend are the same person, honestly, it's a good time. you should try it. this is one it never messes up :)


but here's something that seriously, seriously struck a chord with me tonight. as i was tagging people, this is what came up when this picture was next in line...


and i stopped everything i was doing. i stopped and i stared and i started tearing up. because it's true. these kids are "unnamed." they probably have been given names at some point, but many of them have parents who have died because of aids, malaria or another disease and it's likely that no one knows their name.

this.breaks.my.heart.

but i do have hope because they have a Jesus who loves them, knows them each by name, sees their tears, knows when they're hungry, lonely, scared or sad. He knows. to him, they are not unnamed. and i'm grateful for the part that i got to play this summer - in learning names, hearing stories, healing bodies, capturing moments, building cultural bridges...

"We put the walls up, but Jesus keeps them standing.
He doesn't need us, but He lets us put our hands in.
So we can see, His love is bigger than you and me"
(Caedmon's Call - Two Weeks in Africa)

thank you Abba, that tonight those kids are yours. they are not "unnamed."

.daisy.

if you read this... please pray for daisy. add this sweet 5 year old girl and her amazing family to your prayer list in this dark, dark season they are walking.

go to... prayfordaisy.tumblr.com

her dad is a pastor in carpinteria (by santa barbara). he preached a sermon about "when my heart is overwhelmed" a few weeks ago when they found out - it's on brittmerrick.com, scroll down until you see it.

their faith will astound and challenge you.

.audience of One.

i have lately (and likely have most of my life) found myself doing all i can to please the people around me. i wouldn't view myself as a "people pleaser," but am recently discovering that i may be wrong. right now, in this season, in this moment, i just want people to let me be weak, broken, crumble and not perform, but yet i need something or someone to perform for or i lose myself in me.

i know i should be performing life for an audience of One - who knows me by name, calls me beloved and welcomes a broken heart. but something in me longs for affirmation, loves the "good job"s and "i think you did the right thing"s. but my Audience says "when nothing satisfies you, hold MY hand." and to be brutally vulnerable i'm having a really hard time doing that right now because i want to be strong. i want to be enough.

so for now... i keep being the strong one. i keep walking the tension of rising and falling, pleasing others but rarely focusing on my audience of One. i need a change. i need a paradigm shift and i need my life to look different in 6 months, 6 weeks... better yet 6 days than it does today. i need to give myself permission to be the weak one so that i am forced to hold His hand. i need you, audience of One.