tonight, before i headed to bed, i started the dishwasher. i looked around the kitchen, made sure everything was put away, turned out all the remaining traces of light in the living areas of the house and walked down the hall. as i walked, i heard the hum of the dishwasher in the background.
i was brushing my teeth and stopped myself mid-brush... to listen again. and then i heard it. it was my mom.
the hum of the dishwasher brought flashbacks of my mom. that sound seems to be something from my childhood that was comforting, somewhat affirming to me. when the dishwasher was on at bedtime, it meant that all was well in the household. it meant that my dad, my brothers and i were fed, the dishes were loaded, the lights turned off and everyone was on their way to a good night's rest. it was my mom who loaded that dishwasher and turned it on night after night and it was my mom who was the source of consistency in my childhood.
and tonight, as i loaded the dishwasher (that runs once a week) in my house full of mid-20's roommates, i said a prayer that someday, hopefully someday soon, i will be the consistent-dishwasher-hum-mom for some little sleeping babies and a big sleeping husband. i prayed that every night i will take pride in my household enough to not go to bed until my dishes are loaded and my countertops wiped. i am ready for a full dishwasher.