Sunday, November 30, 2008

.the other side of the fog.

tonight i went to dinner with some friends and when we walked out of the restaurant, there was fog - lots of it. i then went back to church for an hour and while i was at church, i worried. i thought about the fog that i was going to have to drive in on the freeway and i worried. i didn't like the idea of not being able to see very far in front of me... what if there were no other cars on the road? what about that poorly lit, really big hill i have to drive up to get to my house? what if i can't see a car coming around the corner head on? all these thoughts as i left church to get in my car to drive home.

i got on the road and you know what? i couldn't see 5 yards in front of me, i did almost miss a stop sign and it was tough to drive on the freeway for a little stretch. as i was driving i looked in my rear view mirror and saw the condensation from the fog dripping slowly and steadily like tear drops down my back windshield. and then... about 5 miles down the freeway it was completely clear. unbelievably clear. God taught me a few things tonight...

- that He will allow me to see only as much as he wants me to right in front of me. the rest He will keep foggy because only He needs to know what tomorrow holds.

- that when i am in the fog, there will likely be tears, more of them than normal, possibly a heavy stream of them and that's okay.

- that i worry too much about that "big hill" up ahead when He's already got that figured out, He's already cleared that road.

- that when the road clears and the tears subside, the hill is no longer daunting and i can see for miles.

it's in the fog that i am forced to trust, that he draws me close. those times are so worth the clearing on the other side of the fog.

Lord, there is fog in this season, so i pray that i will learn to trust, learn to need you, learn to embrace the tears that come with it. and that i will not look to the big hill ahead, but instead i'll keep my eyes on the step you've put in front of me and wait until i'm on the other side. it is there that i find hope.

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