.learning to need...

i was re-vamping my blog (which is still in process because frankly, i got tired last night, so bear with me), but i realized the title of it is "learning to need Him." i debated if i should change that, if i should modify it - i mean, what do you do with a phrase like that? i think i am and always will be learning to need more of Jesus. i can hope that i'll get to a point where i can say, "alright, i've learned it all. i'm up to the brim with learning how to have more of Jesus and we're in a good place. check." but that's not how it works. i know we're never done.

sadly, if you were to ask me what i'm learning to need right now, i'd probably not say it's much of Jesus. what i'm learning to need right now are things like more sleep, less stress, a better immune system, more time at home, a job in california for my boyfriend which will mean all of the things listed above will get better...

those are the things i'm learning to need because my mind and body are forcing me to. that and a glass of red wine to cover the multitude.

so where does that leave me? and Jesus - where does that leave Him? i still need Him and the above things absolutely cannot be handled properly without Him, so i guess that leaves me where i started... learning to need Him but taking the long way to get there. say a little prayer for me, for us if you think of it. we've got a bit of learning to do.