Seven: Food Day 3 (Spoiler Alert: We Fell Off the Bandwagon)

I'm sitting at the table eating some whole wheat pasta with pesto and chicken for lunch. People, we couldn't do it. For a variety of reasons and the season we're in, we just couldn't do a small amount of foods. Our excuses are many and I'll spare them, but the hardest thing is Jarred's 13 hour work days and me starting a new job in 3 days and being gone for that next week. The transition and long days are hard when your options are limited - as is travel.

We didn't fail, we modified. I like to think of it as a Day 2 restart, that works right? :) Instead of only eating seven things, we decided to give up seven things. I know it's no NEAR the sacrifice that Jen made, but we've decided we're not quite up to par with the Hatmaker crew yet. Baby steps. But the things we decided to quit are still a sacrifice.

So here's our confession: we are at this point in time incapable of eating only seven foods for 3 weeks. But here's what you can keep us accountable to giving up...

1) coffee
2) sweets/sugar
3) alcohol
4) white flour (or anything containing it)
5) chips
6) full-fat dairy (we can only eat low fat or fat-free)
7) hummus (SADDDDDD)

We recognize that some of you may not eat these things regularly and BRAVO for you. None of these are bad things to sacrifice, but these are things that we regularly sometimes consume and they're hard things for us to give up.

A few examples of the torture the last few days: at lunch with some friends at a Mexican restaurant - they bring out chips and salsa - BUMMER, a friend has a bowl of Halloween candy and I naturally pull out a mini Hershey's bar and then put it back - BUMMER, we are celebrating some friends' birthdays tonight and I've been nominated to go pick up apple and boysenberry pie (apple pie is my love language) - HUGE BUMMER! See, not as easy as it sounds. I also have a husband suffering from caffeine withdrawal headaches. Now that's a bummer - for both of us.

What are we learning? Nothing yet, just that deprivation makes us both more crabby. We'll keep you posted as the weeks go on. Do we feel like we failed? No, we just feel like this time around, that wasn't the best solution and we're good with that and a teensy bit happier. Thanks for joining us on the journey. If you see us right now, you may encounter some crazies - sorry bout it.

.who.what.when.where... and WHY?

so there's a battle being waged. it's in my soul. i think it's real. you may beg to differ, but it doesn't make it any less real to me.

who - me, my life, my existence, my friendships, my stability, my last 7 years

what - it's at stake, threatened to be uprooted, at risk of crumbling

when - sometime in the next 6 weeks (yikes!)

where - texas... the great state of texas

WHY - a job. a tailor-made, really great job bids me come and die to all i know


but it's what i DON'T know that is getting me stuck. i don't know what's better (or worse) at 28:
a) to LOVE your job and have limited stability and friendships for an approximate year adjustment period
or
b) to LOVE where you live and who you're surrounded by but dislike your job (or lack thereof).

now i've heard arguments both ways from people i both respect and trust, but truly have no handle on the situation. i feel like the more i wrestle with it, the more confusion sets in. should i just flip a coin? i mean, the heartache and headache and wallet-ache that comes with being an unemployed masters degree-holding girl is pretty intense and i've been feeling the weight of that lately. but... the heartache and soul ache and potential bout of depression that come with relocating everything i know just for a job is also quite the feat to willingly take on. but which costs less?

if i had to answer honestly in this moment? surrendering the job would actually 'cost less' to me. financially, not a wise decision, but the emotional and spiritual cost of moving are more than i can bear without immediately producing floods of tears. so which way do you turn? how do you make a choice like this in a matter of days? which one will i live to regret if i choose the other?

good gosh, i wanna go to sleep tonight and wake up in 6 months. please...