2013 Inventory

I started doing this post last year and resolved to make it an annual tradition. I think it's important (more for me than for you), but I do think it matters to recall, count blessings, take inventory and look forward. A few days late, but better late than never…

- joy: finding out WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!

- peace: knowing that during a really yucky season of crazy migraines and a bit of a health scare, God never, ever left us. He was our peace during a hard season with work and health. We weathered the storm knowing we were in good hands - with our doctors, our community and our God.

- grace: marriage is still the greatest picture of grace I've experienced. How and why he keeps loving and forgiving is beyond me. Grace upon grace upon grace.

- mercy: a new job that I said yes to this fall. So much mercy. The timing was perfect, the need for change was evident, the schedule is so fitting for having a baby on the way and I get to do what I'm passionate about - a combination of student ministry and missions - nothing better. Thankful for God's mercy in a job with Students International and all that this season of ministry will bring for our little family.

- discipline: this is kind of funny, but I actually think my best discipline was in the kitchen. :) I love to bake, but I don't love to cook and this year I've learned the discipline of cooking and the importance of providing nourishment for people I love. I'm hoping that 2014 makes this more of a joy and less of a discipline… wishful thinking.

- growth: holy leaps and bounds… leaving my job with IMPACT and the crazy process that involved for me - mentally, spiritually and physically challenged me and grew me. So much. I also saw HUGE amounts of growth in the college gals that I do life with. We learned to follow Jesus with more integrity, to become a family, to be real and genuine and to love each other unconditionally. It was phenomenal and I can't even deal with the fact that 1/2 of these gems will graduate in June. Can't talk about it. Tears.

also… this is what happened when we told the gals we were preggo :)

- answered prayer: our friends Chuck and Holly have been battling what was said to be terminal cancer in his body for the last year. We fervently prayed for them and for healing every single night. We got news right before Christmas that CHUCK IS CANCER FREE!!! This is such a sweet gift for them and their twin babies. We love it.

- friendship: I alluded to this in my last post, but good gracious, Jesus brought us friends this year -he literally just plopped this incredible group of friends into our lives and our town and we are so grateful. I needed a solid group of girlfriends so so badly and I sit here amazed at the answer to prayer in Cheryl, April, Nicole, Kristi and Blair to name a few. So thankful.

- beauty: I think that new life is such a beautiful thing. Because I'm pregnant, I may be appreciating it more these days, but we got 2 new nieces - Ellie and Liza and a new nephew - Jack this year. They are little miracles and such delightful tiny humans. Three of my closest friends had babies this year too and sweet Jesus that is beautiful. Bringing life into this world is beautiful.

- rest: rest for us this year came in the form of little getaways. We LOVE living on the central coast where it's easy to take mini-vacations and have a life time-out. A few of our favorites this year were Napa in January, Sonoma in February, Vegas in March, Palm Desert in May, Carpinteria in June, San Diego in July, Carmel in October, and Solvang in December. Just a few :) These much-needed breaks provided rest - for our bodies, our souls, our brains and our marriage. We are so grateful.

- perseverance: I saw more resolve in myself during the hard months of July and August than I've ever seen in my 33 years of life. All I will say is that it was hard, I wanted to quit, I wanted answers, I wanted to wake up and have it all be over with. God saw me through it. Life is so different now. So much redemption came from persevering through the suffering.

- pura vida (true, full life): I think Jarred and I find this most on mission. Whether local mission with Young Life, our church plant crew, the homeless shelter or overseas. This year for us, we found "pure vida" in our church community here - people knowing us well and loving us anyways. We also found it in our trips to Haiti and Costa Rica - beautiful pure life. We have much to learn.

- love: my sweet husband has gone above and beyond this year. From my health issues in August to getting pregnant in September, his job has not been easy for the last 5 months. This man is a rockstar. I can't tell you how many pesto chicken sandwiches he's delivered to the couch. I see Jesus in how he loves me unconditionally and without cost.

- the Gospel: our new "church" community has been the living, breathing gospel. The time we spend with them is real and honest and full of both grace and truth. These people have become our family here in town and we know that life with them around makes sense. God is present and revealing himself through this beautiful community.

2014 is about to bring SO much change - more than we could ever dream up. While we have NO idea what we're getting ourselves into with this little one, we have so much excitement and anticipation of how this year will go and are thankful for each day that this baby continues to grow healthy and strong. Bring it on… we expect great things.

Top 10

This year I decided it would be best to mark tomorrow's holiday with the top 10 things I'm thankful for. It's hard for us to not be with family tomorrow (nor on Christmas Day this year), so I've found myself complaining about that instead of being thankful. I need help. Ha.

Bree's Top 10 for Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for…

- this crazy, amazing, beautiful, real group of college gals I get to do life with on Thursday nights and beyond.

- Maggie - the sweetest golden retriever that we somehow are lucky enough to have in our little family.

- my grandpas - I know that may seem strange, but I think being pregnant makes you think about the relationships you treasured growing up - my grandpas were great men. I miss them.

- my friends & family - if you know me at all, you know I love my people. I am so rich in relationships it's ridiculous and I'm crazy grateful.

- my health - I had a bit of a strange summer with my health and I can tell you I've never been more thankful for it than I have this year.

- new friendships in SLO - it's hard to be "new in town" and we really made some awesome friends this year, I don't take that for granted.

- my new job - I LOVED working for IMPACT. It challenged me and grew me beyond my imagination, but I am equally as thankful for my new job with Students International that allows me to do something I'm passionate about, but gives me the flexibility to be home much of the time with my family.

- God's grace - I've learned this year that He is so gracious with us to let us be where we are, where we need to be, His expectations of us are often different than our expectations of ourselves, so glad about that.

- Jarred - he is a loyal, faithful, hard-working, tender-hearted, loving, care-taking, delightful husband and I'm so thankful for the gift it is to be his wife. Crazy how much we've become a family these last few years.

- the life growing inside of me - wow. This is the #1 thing we are crazy grateful for this year. We see God's handprint all over this little life - the timing, how it's changed us, how loved this kid will be - and we could not be more excited or thankful… for life and for this next season.

Seven: Food - Day 18

Welp, we're almost there - 20 days will be here in 48 hours. Before you get excited and think that we did it, I have (yet again) to confess. There were a few days last week - say maybe days 15-16 that I didn't give a rip about the fast we were doing. You may ask me to define "I didn't give a rip," okay - 2 sugar cookies with buttercream frosting (breaking more than one rule, maybe 3), a piece of apple raspberry pie (also multiple rule-breakers), pizza and tortilla chips - all in 2 days. Wow. I mean if you're gonna cheat, go all in, right? That's my philosophy - make it good. And boy I did.

Of course that night, Jarred and I are sitting on the couch talking about our day and he asks, "How you doing with Seven this week?" Why? Why when there's something to confess does someone always ask the hard question?!?!?! Ugh… The ugly truth came spilling out. I told him I'd stopped caring. He asked me if I'd be willing to jump back on the bandwagon for the last few days and pony up. Maybe? was my reply. People, something is wrong with me! I've lost all self-control. So I thought about it and saw how much he didn't want to do it alone and I agreed.

So until Monday, we are back in the saddle - making good choices and doing our dang best to stick with the program. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - it's birthday celebration time and I don't give a rip - with GREAT reason. No rules on birthdays people.

We will do our best to be really spiritual on Monday and give you some great grand finale to what we've learned this month. Wish us luck :)

A little glimpse of something I've been really convicted about this month is inviting Jesus into my challenges. I have found over and over again this month that I forget to ask for help. I think I can do it on my own so I try and I try and I try and I fail, every stinkin' time. I still haven't quite mastered the art of stopping before I start my day and asking Jesus to give me the strength to fast that day, the strength to do what's best that day, the discipline to say no that day. Maybe I've got 2 days left to practice… sweet Jesus, give me grace.

2012 Inventory

This year was a big one. And it just seemed right to create some sort of memory inventory of the ways God showed up, how I grew, what went down. This will likely become an annual tradition, so prepare yourself. Here's a glimpse of how these things were displayed in my life in 2012:

- joy: our wedding day :)

- peace: the feeling we got when we decided to move to SLO - grace: Jarred's love for me, I never knew human grace so deep before I had a spouse

- mercy: the rescue over and over and over of a sweet friend and colleague, Marina, who was ALL God's mercy poured out on me over the course of moving, engagement, wedding chaos. so. much. mercy.

- discipline: the physical discipline for training for the wedding, really great, but really tough to stay that committed - strength: through the transition of moving and everything changing

- growth: holy smokes, the whole year? marriage, moving, a program we tried in Haiti - answered prayer: my husband and faith that changed the lives of my little brother & his wife

- friendship: my best friend of 21 years whose weekly honest phone calls and emails keep me going and who absolutely blew me away by her generosity and love as my matron of honor

- beauty: living this SLO life, pinch me, for reals

- rest: 4-day weekends away with my love are making for a delightful first year of marriage

- perseverance: it's hard to be new in town... making friends is hard, finding a church is hard, starting over is hard - still working on this - pura vida (true, full life): our Young Life community (namely my Thursday night college gals) and speaking at a high school camp breathed full life into me this year

- love: Jarred's ridiculous love for me and the way our parents have showered blessings and pure love on us this year

- the Gospel: my husband has been a gospel of truth & grace for me as well as the insane amount of unconditional love & support we received from SO many in this year of celebration and newness - it's been a tangible showing of Jesus in our lives

Honestly, I re-read this list as my eyes well up with tears. I am deeply moved because God is SO good. Truly. Why me? No one deserves this much grace, this much life, this much joy in one year. But that's the gospel - over and over and over again, He gives what we don't deserve and in return I can just humbly say, "Thank you, please use my life to draw people to Jesus." Cheers to a life of overwhelming grace and a year of overwhelming joy!

.reflecting on thanks.

here's my post-thanksgiving day reflection on unconventional gratitude:

that i don't have to worry about going hungry... the weekly trash pick-up... hot water... unlimited electricity... protection and safety... the absence of disease...

golden retriever colored carpet... cars that run... opportunities to serve... apple computers... a mom that taught me how to cook... a dad that taught me that giving is better than receiving...

the chance for our first year of marriage to be in a brand new town... vulnerable and authentic friendships... not having tv our first year of marriage... grace, upon grace, upon grace... that Jesus sees me worthy of being used to bring his kingdom on earth...

so. very. grateful.

.learning to accept gifts.

i am getting married in 9 days. holy moly. i'm really getting married in 9 days. here are a few things i've learned in this season and i don't want to forget i've learned them so i'm writing them down: - i've learned that i'm lame at accepting gifts - i've learned that no matter how many times i say "thank you" it rarely seems sufficient for all that my family & friends have done for jarred & i in the last few months

- i've learned that i had NO IDEA how much work planning a wedding would be

- i've learned to say LOTS of "i don't care's" - it's just how this bride is coping these days - i've learned about true friendship, true family ties and that those people bring so much life and light into stressful situations

- i've learned that loving someone is so much more than saying "i do", that forgiving quickly is not an easy thing and that marriage will indeed be the hardest, best thing i've ever done

- i've learned that beginning a marriage is a community project and i can't do it without the people God has oh-so-graciously placed around me

but i think of all those things, the hardest one for me is accepting gifts. i still haven't totally learned that. i felt awkward at bridal showers, i feel weird when things show up to our house and we didn't pay for them. i feel really really badly that i won't see a bill for our wedding, nor our couches, nor our honeymoon because we have ridiculously generous parents who love us more than words on paper could convey. i feel bad about these things because i have an over-active sense of responsibility and in these last 4 months, i've not been allowed to take care of myself or anyone else - i've been doted on, pampered, showered with prayers, gifts and love and spoiled rotten. and i'm still working on accepting it. i have not doubt that my wedding day will be the best day of my life to date and no doubt that it will all be 100% worth it, but sometimes it's hard to let others give and give and give.

i think what my Creator is trying to teach me is that all these things - just a TINY glimpse of his grace, his gifts, his forgiveness, his mercy. all these huge things that others are unselfishly doing for us - just little bitty glimpses of how he loves. and i'm learning to accept the awesomeness that Jesus gives by being forced to accept the awesomeness of his people unselfishly giving in my life. and all i can say is, "i'm overwhelmingly grateful."