.learning to need...

i was re-vamping my blog (which is still in process because frankly, i got tired last night, so bear with me), but i realized the title of it is "learning to need Him." i debated if i should change that, if i should modify it - i mean, what do you do with a phrase like that? i think i am and always will be learning to need more of Jesus. i can hope that i'll get to a point where i can say, "alright, i've learned it all. i'm up to the brim with learning how to have more of Jesus and we're in a good place. check." but that's not how it works. i know we're never done.

sadly, if you were to ask me what i'm learning to need right now, i'd probably not say it's much of Jesus. what i'm learning to need right now are things like more sleep, less stress, a better immune system, more time at home, a job in california for my boyfriend which will mean all of the things listed above will get better...

those are the things i'm learning to need because my mind and body are forcing me to. that and a glass of red wine to cover the multitude.

so where does that leave me? and Jesus - where does that leave Him? i still need Him and the above things absolutely cannot be handled properly without Him, so i guess that leaves me where i started... learning to need Him but taking the long way to get there. say a little prayer for me, for us if you think of it. we've got a bit of learning to do.

.highlights from the motherland.

heineken - welcome to holland!

if 3 days in spain came with highlights, 7 days in holland trumped it, hands down. drumroll please...

American pizza, at the farm of a speed skater with 50 of my crazy Dutch relatives


real windmills and amazing windmill cakes

some successful sloot jumping...


and some not so successful

ridiculously awesome candid photos of me and my sis-in-law


flowers, flowers and more flowers!!!

my smokin' hot boyfriend (i'm related to 3 of them, so there's only one who's smokin' hot) i mean, what's not attractive about a man in borrowed european too-short trunks with cow $h?z running down his legs?!??! but seriously, my guy? he's got a bod and for that and many other things, i'm thankful.

3 words - stroopwaffel ice cream

and the best for last... cutest. nephew. ever.

I <3 Holland. I'm ready to go back. Who's coming?

.coming "home".

where in the world am i, you might ask? currently i am sitting in a house that is nearing 200 years old, looking at yellow tulips that my grandma gave me as a welcome gift, feeling like i need to go for a LONG run soon because of the excess number of pastries and cheese i have consumed in the last week. i. love. europe. and if i don't come home, don't hate me.

you see, for me, europe feels like coming "home" in a sense of the word. this trip was 3 days in spain and then a week in holland. spain felt like home because i spent a semester there in college and holland feels like home because well, it is the homeland. so many of our meals, traditions and even looks and mannerisms are fully Dutch . i love the feeling of belonging somewhere. it's been a great week.

i know you're dying for some highlights:
- the amazingness that was our apartment in barcelona... seriously, the views and the apartment itself were bomb. and REALLY good priced for a 6 bedroom apartment. feliz.


- sardining ourselves into european elevators... it's fantastic. and my dad? he totally loves it, don't let him fool you.

- bitchin' restaurants with 300 degree ocean views and the quaintest little coffee shops that make my soul happy.


- a boyfriend who is incapable of normalcy in pictures... good gracious i love this guy.

- really fantastical beach towns in spain -

holland to follow... stay tuned!

.apologies.

apologies to all who faithfully or not so faithfully read this thing... I have been what they call m.i.a. - i.e. Texas, Haiti, headed to Europe, etc. (i'm secretly hoping that over-abbreviating will accentuate my list of reasons why i've been so busy and unable to post, so if it's not working, work with me).

i promise to do my best to get better.

here's what i've been up to...

TEXAS - for the bridal shower of a sweet friend whose wedding i happen to miss because i'll be in...

SPAIN and HOLLAND - with my family and my beau for 10 days to visit our family (in Holland, not Spain and yes, I know I look more Spanish than Dutch), but in between the two I was in...

HAITI - taking an incredible team of 6 women to work over there for 9 months.

will those excuses suffice? i certainly hope so. i have blog posts swirling in my head about things like the absolute terrifying moments at the inglewood courthouse (but i want to make sure i am crime-free and don't need to go back there first), what God has been teaching me about surrendering expectations and praying His will be done, how Haiti changed me - once again, how the 6 gals who are living in Haiti changed me and are continuing to change me. so for now, click the link about the girls... this is life-changing stuff that will inevitably keep you on your toes until i return...

hasta luego... bonjour... daj... i'll be home soon, pinky promise.