Bravo

Friends, there is a milestone here this week... these are the last few days of this job I've had for almost four years. Four long years where I've learned more than a blog post could ever summarize. I will do my best to debrief it here later so that you can have the gift of seeing all that God has done and is doing in my life. It's been ugly and beautiful, frustrating and gratifying, convicting and redeeming, but one of the biggest things this job has been for me is healing. A healing that began in my years on Young Life staff when I was young and fresh out of Texas. A healing that continued in graduate school where the most incredible professors spoke amazing truth over my life and told me I could... A healing that has continued to grow and plopped me in a place of confidence I never thought I'd have - one that's still growing, but one that I definitely didn't think was possible for me.

It's best described here... thank you Jen for speaking my feelings so well:
http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/05/08/wherever-it-rises

Thank you to the pastors I've interacted with, the friends I've made and mostly the incredible boss I've been given the chance to work under - you have all changed me for the better and given me a gift no one can ever take back from me... confidence to know that I can be used and I have a voice. Thank you, from the bottom of this Texas girl's heart.

Bravo, Jesus, Bravo.

RED

So today's post is a tribute to my dear friend Cindy. Her most recent post is about red lipstick - about the experience of wearing it, giving back to an AIDS organization and giving girls the permission to have their own "Movember" or "No Shave November" of sorts. I'm into that... and Cindy's writing. Here's my experience with it: I chose today to wear it because I didn't want to cheat. Many days I work from home in my pajamas and I didn't want to wear it on one of those days because that's a total cop out. I'm going to share 3 different thoughts on the day. I did this before, with a friend, but this time felt different.

1) I felt weird. I was self-conscious about it altogether and I was so not into going out in public. I assumed people were going to be wondering who the heck I was thinking I could sport red lipstick. I thought it was on my teeth so I used my phone obsessively to double check. I don't like red lipstick. 2) The reactions were polar opposite/hilarious. I work in the same building as a coffee shop on a large college campus. I know many of the students and call them friends. One of the 20 year old guys walked into my office and stared at me. I smirked and said, "I'm doing a red lipstick experiment." Taylor responded with, "I can see that." Awesome... clearly I pull it off really well in the eyes of a 20 year old male. Disclaimer: my husband has not yet seen me in it yet, will post a P.S. 3) The women in my life were totally into it. No lie. I hung out with a few friends this morning who first thought my hair looked darker because of it (little did they know, I'd recently died my hair). And then the college gals I regularly chill with were TOTALLY into it. They thought it contributed to the overall "fall look" I was going for with boots & a scarf. They liked it with my hair. They were overall complimentary which gave me a confidence I didn't anticipate. Thanks chicas...

It doesn't change me being me. I'm thankful for that about this red lipstick experiment. Sure, I didn't feel like myself, but it also gave me a greater feeling of contentment knowing that I am who I am - with or without the lipstick. In my pajamas, at a coffee shop, on a date night or in the office. I like me. And I think I'll stick with the the non-red lipstick version. Cindy - thanks for the challenge. Would I do it again? Ask me tomorrow.