.learning to accept gifts.

i am getting married in 9 days. holy moly. i'm really getting married in 9 days. here are a few things i've learned in this season and i don't want to forget i've learned them so i'm writing them down: - i've learned that i'm lame at accepting gifts - i've learned that no matter how many times i say "thank you" it rarely seems sufficient for all that my family & friends have done for jarred & i in the last few months

- i've learned that i had NO IDEA how much work planning a wedding would be

- i've learned to say LOTS of "i don't care's" - it's just how this bride is coping these days - i've learned about true friendship, true family ties and that those people bring so much life and light into stressful situations

- i've learned that loving someone is so much more than saying "i do", that forgiving quickly is not an easy thing and that marriage will indeed be the hardest, best thing i've ever done

- i've learned that beginning a marriage is a community project and i can't do it without the people God has oh-so-graciously placed around me

but i think of all those things, the hardest one for me is accepting gifts. i still haven't totally learned that. i felt awkward at bridal showers, i feel weird when things show up to our house and we didn't pay for them. i feel really really badly that i won't see a bill for our wedding, nor our couches, nor our honeymoon because we have ridiculously generous parents who love us more than words on paper could convey. i feel bad about these things because i have an over-active sense of responsibility and in these last 4 months, i've not been allowed to take care of myself or anyone else - i've been doted on, pampered, showered with prayers, gifts and love and spoiled rotten. and i'm still working on accepting it. i have not doubt that my wedding day will be the best day of my life to date and no doubt that it will all be 100% worth it, but sometimes it's hard to let others give and give and give.

i think what my Creator is trying to teach me is that all these things - just a TINY glimpse of his grace, his gifts, his forgiveness, his mercy. all these huge things that others are unselfishly doing for us - just little bitty glimpses of how he loves. and i'm learning to accept the awesomeness that Jesus gives by being forced to accept the awesomeness of his people unselfishly giving in my life. and all i can say is, "i'm overwhelmingly grateful."